The Apple 99% Rule
I’ve come up with a new model for explaining how Apple works regarding new product releases: it’s called the Apple 99% Rule. Basically it means that Apple will give you 99% of what you want, but make some bonedheaded decision about the remaining 1%. For a lot of companies, the 1% is incentive to get you to upgrade to next year’s model. For Apple, it just ticks everyone off because instead of minor details, it’s usually some big thing that really puts a damper on the situation. Case in point:
Example #1: The new 13″ Macbook
Yay! We finally get decent graphics in a portable! I can play 1080p on my 13″ laptop, whoohoo! Wait…where’s the Firewire port?? Apple has pushed Firewire on me for so many years, it’s all I own! What about all of us with Firewire Camcorders, Firewire Scanners, Firewire Backup Drives, Firewire Audio Equipment?! What a crock! Is it really that hard to put a tiny Firewire 800 port on the new Macbook? They put it on the new Mini…I’m not going to spend $2,000+ for a 15″ laptop just to get Firewire, sheesh!
Example #2: The iPhone
All hail the iPhone! Master of all things Touchscreen, CoverFlow, iPod, you name it! 20,000 apps under the sea! Email, Internet, Weather, you name it! A 2.0mp camera! And MMS! Wait…where’s the MMS? No picture messaging? EVERY PHONE IN THE WORLD HAS MMS APPLE! EVERYONE I KNOW USES MMS! I WANT SILLY CRAPPY PICTURES ON MY PHONE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Okay, time to calm down. Wait, where’s Copy & Paste…
Example #3: The new Mac Mini
Yay! After years of neglect, the red-headed stepchild known as the Mac Mini has finally gotten the attention it deserves. A Firewire 800 port! Not four but FIVE USB ports! Dual displays, with support for up to 30″ on one! The new 9400m GPU for 1080p playback! Up to 4 gigs of RAM! Bluetooth, 802.11n Wifi, and SuperDrives for all! But…the processor is soldered on!! Gone are my days of Mini hacking, reduced to the lowly task of only upgrading the HDD & RAM 
Example #4: The new iPod Shuffle
Ooh, new iPod Shuffles! I LOVE these things! So convenient for working out. New VoiceOver feature! 4 gigs of RAM standard! Only $79 with free engraving and free shipping! Er…the controls are built into the earbud cable. I don’t have a big problem with the stock earbuds, even though they don’t sound that great, apart from the fact they they fall out of my ears. They don’t even fit me!
How…how are you supposed to control your music using your own headphones if the controls are on the stock iPod earbud cable? I can’t use the stock earbuds because they simply don’t fit. Besides, I prefer wrap-around headphones for running because they don’t bounce out. Sigh…the $79 iPod just turned into a $109 iPod because we’re going to have to pay some third-party manufacturer $19.99 plus $9.99 shipping to get a tiny control unit to replace the stock earbuds. Gah, Apple!
Look Ma, No Buttons!
The Apple 99% Rule. You heard it here first.
4 Responses to “The Apple 99% Rule”
Amen, amen, amen.
On one hand, it’s annoying. On the other hand, it is moving ahead, thogh early sometimes. Remember when Apple dropped the 3.5″ disk? Uproar! Anger! Then soon everyone followed suit and the attitude was “who uses 3.5″ disks?”
MMS is like the fax machine. The fax is a crappy technology that I wish never happened. But it’s here. People use crappy technology to the dying end. Apple is trying to force us to the better way, even though we may not want to give up on the crappiness that is MMS.
Copy and paste… Yeah, I have no counter point for that. Where’s my copy & paste? Dammit! (UPS tracking numbers sent to me by email are painful)
Let me add a few examples:
1- any iPod with stainless steel back: HELLO: scratch and fingerprints please!
2- any new MacBook Pro: no matte screen option unless you pay extra
3- any iPod: no FM tuner
4- any iPod: non-user replaceable batteries
My theory is that Apple doesn’t want to design anything to fit customer need 100%. If it did, customers wouldn’t need to buy another device in 2 years.
@ dci693:
I think they made a huge mistake with all the glossy stuff. I love glossy, but the new stuff is like ULTRA glossy. I’ve heard a TON of complaints about the new iMacs, especially the large 24″ ‘Mirrors’ Apple is selling now. Oh well, this is why I Hackintosh
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